Friday, July 3, 2009

Inflight log

I had decided when I took my connection plane from Charlotte, NC to Denver, CO that as I made my way back to my beautiful island the next week, I would keep a log. It would go by hour and I would report on happenings in the air. Well, I forgot. At least on the flight from Denver to Atlanta. But, much to your pleasure, I remembered on the connection from Atlanta to San Juan, PR. Oh what a flight it was.

T-00:15:00
I can't find anywhere to put my oversized carry-on. Honestly, it weighs a ton. Note to self, don't let yoga mom buy any more rocks in Colorado.

T-00:11:54
I finally walked up the flow of angry people to first class (all the way from the back of a full 747 I might add) and put my bag there.

T-00:11:31
Oh god my mom is talking to the person sitting in our row. Ok no wait, she just moved to the window seat...I'm in the middle.

T-00:11:27
Oh god I think the person next to me is a schizophrenic.

T-00:09:17
She just asked me if were moving yet...we're not. She's a schizophrenic.

T-00:09:09
We're moving...and she just asked me if we're moving again.

T-00:07:24
Oh god the plane just made a weird noise.

T-00:00:15
We're taking off! WOOO!

T-00:00:08
Ok...we should be going up now.

T-00:00:04
I hope the pilot knows the track ends and there are trees and possibly pedestrians there...

T-00:00:00
And were off...I was a bit worried there.

00:05:12
Turbulence time.

00:05:15
Schizophrenic lady just asked me if the turbulence is because were going down...oh god this is gonna be a long 3.5 hours.

00:17:02
I just finished my newest blog! Not this one...the spam one. Go check it out. It's the least you can do after I have had to turn my body to the point where i almost face schizophrenic lady cuz she keeps trying to read what I'm typing in my phone.

00:22:33
I just had to open schizophrenic lady's peanut bag...and she coughed all over it. I feel dirty. And not in a good way. Oh god she just coughed on it again...

00:28:13
Schizophrenic lady just asked me if we're almost there. No...no we're not.

0034:10
My mom left me the middle seat because she didn't want to talk to her! I thought mothers were supposed to protect their offspring!

00:36:24
Movie! Yes! I'm saved!

01:43:49
No we're not there yet schizophrenic lady...I'm watching a movie.

02:16:34
Movie wasn't too bad. I think I would’ve enjoyed it more if schizophrenic lady wouldn't have been staring at me the whole time.

02:17:55
AAAAAA!!! NO! WE’RE NOT THERE YET SCHITZOPHRENIC LADY!!! Need...sanctuary! BATHROOM!

02:19:32
I've come up with a plan. I actually gotta go to the bathroom, but i want to stay here for as long as I can. I will play the good Samaritan and let people go before me. Sacrifices must be made to protect my sanity.

02:24:01
Damn it. I knew it couldn't last long. I gotta give in.

02:25:12
I'm back in my seat. I have also realized that--we have an hour left schizophrenic lady!--that every time she laughs she coughs...ugh

03:04:02
Wow...I can't believe it. Peace...quiet. No coughing.

03:04:05
Her husband is here and he is also schizophrenic...not because of his actions, but because he married her. That makes him crazy by default.

03:05:00
I knew it! He thought a flight from Atlanta to Puerto Rico was 30 min! He IS crazy! He didn't take too well to all the facts that I used to disprove him either. It was fun though.

03:12:00
We started our descent. Yes...finally. Schizophrenic lady just said finally as well...then she laughed and coughed. Only a few more minutes...god...

03:16:38
Her husband just came back. My mom told me not to make eye contact...good advice. I took it.

03:21:59
She is going crazy looking around everywhere and coughing! Get me outta here! Not literally though...I don't want to get pulled out of a plane...

03:23:05
Gotta turn off my portable electronic device. It's been a heck of a long time next to a crazy lady. Finally. Freedom...she just coughed.

In the last minutes before landing, there was a negligible amount of turbulence, little kids were asking their parents what the big black thing coming towards them was (I prayed it wasn't the ocean), and schizophrenic lady coughed about 5 or 6 more times. I'm glad it's over. I'm never sitting next to crazy people again. I hope you all learn from me...the bathroom idea worked really well! Use it! But, as with everything, the flight, like my log, comes to an end. Rafa over and out.

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