Tuesday, December 22, 2009

United and my guitar

So, I had this experience and I just felt like I should share it with the people that have bothered to go on the internet, type in a long url, and proceed to read an exponentially longer blog post by me. It is these people that make my blog what it is…and yes, I am aware that right now its probably just hit the double digits. But that’s beside the point. My story begins when I was going home…

I have just recently finished my semester at college and was going to fly to my homeland of Puerto Rico. Alongside me were my trusty laptop and my good-old guitar. These two objects possessed the innate capacity to make my life heaven and destroy my shoulders at the same time. Let the reader now be aware that I was going to have to walk through two airports with my two 50+ pound carry-ons (yes…they did weigh that much). The reason that I had brought my guitar with me as a carry-on was because I was flying United. You read correctly: United. You know, the one that breaks guitars. I had remembered as I was packing that airplanes had this cool cubby thing where all the pompous people in first class placed their 500 dollar Gucci coats for safekeeping. Maybe my guitar could find a home there? As I boarded the plane, I asked the first flight attendant about the “cool cubby thing” and she looked at me blankly for a couple of seconds.

“How much money do you have?” she said.

Hmmmmm…I didn’t expect this. I decided to freeze time in my head and think about the situation (yes I do this and no I’m not schizophrenic). How should I go about this situation? …let’s try something.

I looked around and leaned closer as I whispered, “A crap load…”

She immediately started laughing and so did I and she proceeded to point towards the front of the plane. I placed my guitar safely in the cubby and sat down in my seat. 2 hours of fake airplane sleep and 250 of the 500 days of summer later, the plane had touched down. I waited for everyone to vacate the premises and headed towards the front. To my alarm, I saw people cleaning the scraps from the floor and seats in strange reflective clothing reminiscent of construction workers and blocking the entrance to the front. As I tried to scoot past them to get my guitar back, two flight attendants near the door asked me if I was looking for a guitar. I nodded.

“Oh…well…your guitar…” said one as he looked towards the floor in a bout of sadness and apology.

My eyes went wide and for the first time I was speechless. No witty comments…no funnyness…not even a comeback. UNITED DOES BREAK GUITARS!

“You’ve seen the video I take it…” said the other flight attendant.

They both stared at me in dismay. I looked back at them. No response. All of a sudden they both start laughing and the guy points behind me and there sits my guitar, comfortably cradled in one of the seats by the door. Glee…that is the only word to describe it.

No. United doesn’t break guitars—United LOVES guitars. And apparently they have a sense of humor to boot.

(Check out the full video that I mentioned in this post right here:)

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