Saturday, January 8, 2011

Oh, No...

I would like to announce to my faithful readers that I was wrong. That’s right, I said it. I was wrong. I wrote a blog a while back about the end of the world on December 21, 2012…apparently, information was withheld. So, I am here to say that I was wrong. I’m not saying I was wrong about the actual date…I was completely right about the ludicrousness of the belief in that day. What I was incorrect about was the fact that apparently the world is ending. So says 89 year-old Harold Camping.

Oh nos!

This man is the head of an independent Christian ministry called Family Radio Worldwide. Can anyone say: red flag? Firstly, the man is 89 years old. I think he’s been waiting for the apocalypse for too long. Secondly, his ministry is independent. What does that mean? In my mind, that means that even the normal Christians are like, “Dude…wait, what?” And when Christians are telling that to other Christians, you know something is up. They usually only reserve that for Mormons. Lastly, his ministry is called Family Radio Worldwide. I’m going to go right out and say it—it sounds like a rapist’s paradise. You know what I mean? Lure the kids in with some nice Village People at 69.0 FM and they will be none the wiser. Invite them in and…well, you get the idea. Yummy yummy and under twelve.

The man himself. Enjoy his terrible teeth.

That’s enough of the old man’s personal life. His prediction (coming straight from Neverland Ranch! Alright, I’ll stop now.) states that The Rapture will actually occur on May 21, 2011. Now, let me make it clear that The Rapture is that one time, you know, where everyone that is nice on earth disappears and goes to heaven while everyone else suffers unspeakable horrors during hell on earth. Same old, same old. No need to dwell. Well, that day is when The Rapture is happening and on October 21, 2011 is the official end of the world. That isn’t saying that the days between won’t suck (they will), but it will all officially be over in October. So now you know that if you are still around after May 21, you are probably going to end up crapping bricks or shooting lasers out of your eyes and blowing up kittens or something. I’m sure it says that in the Bible somewhere.

It's in here somewhere...I know it!

Before you make any judgments about what I have said, I’m going to posit the fact that he has already made a prediction for the world to end based on his fancy “math” and bible codes. If he had been right, we wouldn’t be here right now. His prediction stated that in 1994, we would all die. Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! I’m still alive! Golly gosh…I wonder where that leaves him? Oh, and his followers also have a website that you guys can spam or laugh at (whichever you prefer…or both) if you so please. I only ask that if you do spam these people, mention me so he knows he’s got some Rafa love. At least he isn’t as bad as those crazy Facebook people, though, right? Happy end of the world.

Via Huffington Post and LiveScience


  1. Stamping Out Harold Camping

    Is Second Coming date-setter Harold Camping worthy of death? He already has a zero batting average after his September 1994 prediction fizzle and, according to the Bible, is a false prophet.
    Nevertheless that California shaman, who should be ashamed, claims he's found out that Christ's return will be on May 21, 2011 even though Matt. 24:36 says that no one knows the "day" or "hour" of it!
    A Google article ("Obama Fulfilling the Bible") points out that "Deut. 18:20-22 in the Old Testament requires the death penalty for false prophets."
    The same article reveals that "Christians are commanded to ask God to send severe judgment on persons who commit and support the worst forms of evil (see I Cor. 5 and note 'taken away')."
    Theologically radioactive Harold Camping and his ga-ga groupies (with their billboards featuring "May 21, 2011") should worry about being "stamped out" if many persons decide to follow the I Cor. 5 command.
    The above article concludes: "False prophets in the OT were stoned to death. Today they are just stoned!"

    (Ran into the web piece above - Roger)

  2. My sentiments exactly, Roger. Thanks for posting excellent comments such as this! No one should claim the power like this guy has.