Monday, June 27, 2011

I Don't Trust Birds

Birds. Either you love them or you hate them. I’m a reptile person, myself. Birds are kind of annoying in my book. At least they aren’t like fish, which just happen to die whenever they are around me for any extended period of time for no good reason. But possibly one of the creepiest things I’ve ever heard of in the animal world is a seemingly innocent looking parrot being a bloodthirsty savage. Meet the Kea Parrot. Nowhere in normal “this is creepy animal stuff” do you hear of this animal, for some odd reason. Yeah, they will talk about the creepy sad face fish, or the sickly looking blob animal, but never the Kea Parrot. It doesn’t feel like being a cute and normal fruit eating birdy. No. this parrot prefers the taste of meat. At night, looking like a crazed demon with a beak (in the video and in real life), these guys sneak up on unsuspecting sheep and begin feasting on them alive. Imagine walking around, minding your own business, and have a parrot nibbling on your ankles. Seriously, what the hell?

Via YouTube

Friday, June 24, 2011


This moment probably only occurs only once in a person’s life, if at all. I have literally just received what is probably one of the funniest news stories of my entire life. What’s more, I know the person involved. Apparently, he got caught doing the dirty deed in an airplane. By dirty deed, I of course mean masturbating, since he is apparently a sad, lonely person. Not only did he get caught, but he got caught by an agent of the FBI. I don’t know whether that would be really damned badass or really damned embarrassing. Probably the latter. If you have so much pent up sexual energy on an airplane that you decide to lock yourself in the 3x3 foot cubicle of a bathroom and cry yourself into the mile high club, you really need to rethink your priorities before you get caught by the FBI. I guess his “weapon” was small enough to not get detected by airport security. BAM! I just had to make that joke. I apologize. The link to the article is below (but it’s in Spanish…that’s why I gave pretty much the summary of what occurred), and I would advise every reader to absolutely not resort to this, ever. Just wait a few hours till you get to your house or a random hotel room where you can get a hooker or some pay per view or something.

Via El Vocero

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Musical Glasses

I remember one day, when I was sitting in a restaurant with my parents, there were some wine glasses in front of me. Obviously, mine had water in it, since my parents actually care about my wellbeing. I dipped my finger into the glass and rubbed the top a bit to get a little piece of food off. To my amazement, it made a sound! What kind of black magic is this?! I wet my finger again and rubbed it around the top, and it began making a smooth sound for as long as my finger was on the top. I have been annoying people at restaurants with this discovery ever since. I’m sure that everyone has discovered this, but some people went a bit further. They actually manufacture their own special glasses inscribed with lines that indicate the water/alcoholic beverage of your choice level to achieve a certain musical note. For sure, if I wasn’t poor and sure that I would break them, I’d get some. Oh no! I filled it with a bit too much wine! I wanted a C. I guess I’ll have to remove a certain amount. Yeah…that’s a recipe for many drunk pseudo-musicians.

Via bltd

Monday, June 13, 2011

A Musical Where Everyone Dies

Let’s get real here…sometimes musicals get quite obnoxious. Either the songs last too long, the singing is horrendous, or you’re living a sad existence because you’re watching Glee. If you are a Glee fan and stupidly call yourself a “Gleek,” then here is directions for what you should do with the rest of your life: stop reading the blog, begin calling yourself a “Gleetard,” use heroin and have an illegitimate child, become so depressed that you think your existence is not worth it, realize that your existence is actually not worth it, and then kill yourself. Problem solved. Anyway, here is one of the few legitimate musicals that you all should see…namely because everyone dies. Score.

Via YouTube

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The WritePad Lessons: How to Really be a Creeper

I have never known anyone that has been slapped with a restraining order. But Jesus Crist does this guy deserve it. The man’s name is Andrew WK. He was quite young at the time (around 17 years old) when he became infatuated with a girl. He decided that the best course of action to confess his unrequited love to a girl that never talked to him and get an A on his final project was to write a love song. How romantic! Too bad that it ended up being quite possibly the creepiest thing I have ever heard. He got in a ton of trouble for the song he wrote, recorded, and handed in. So much trouble, in fact, that he got a restraining order. Damn right he should have gotten a restraining order. After you listen to this track, you will know what I mean. I had nightmares…I still do.



Monday, June 6, 2011

The WritePad Lessons: How to be Awesome on Chatroulette

Have you ever wondered what is better than proposing to a girl and having her say yes? Proposing to a random girl over chatroulette in an over-the-top, musical fashion, and having her say yes. No, really. If this is actually some random person doing this to another random person, it’s probably the most awesome thing I have seen. It all seems normal until he starts singing…and you realize that he has built sets. Multiple sets. This is more intricate and organized than the Old Spice commercials. It’s, dare I say it, beautiful! Enjoy the awesomeness…

Via Gizmodo

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Something You Pass Around?

Have you ever had that moment when you’re on a game show, you’re staring Steve Harvey’s moustache right in the face, and you make a marijuana reference? Honestly, Family Feud couldn’t get better than these hilarious moments. It’s one of those times when you realize that reality television has nothing on game shows.

It seems all of the following people conveniently forgot about the “family” part of Family Feud. And yet, we all should be thankful to them for the hilarity that ensued after their comments. Go on…laugh.

This guy apparently had the best answer to a question you have ever heard:

This woman is...well, just watch it:

In this last video, the guy is A) way too excited about his answer, and B) most definitely correct:

Via Urlesque